Paging P.W. Herman
April 2, 2008
So I’m learning that kid behaviors, gestures, and sayings that seem “cute” at home suddenly become “not so cute” when displayed in a public arena. For instance, my 3-year-old shaking her butt and singing “Shake Your Groove Thing” like the diva that she is generates lots of laughs at home. But let’s say she performs a repeat concert at church on Sunday…..instead of laughter, the more appropriate response from her parents would have to be complete shock and facial expressions that clearly communicate to our holy neighbors that “we have no idea where she would have ever learned this behavior. Would you mind holding her sister and brother while we run and douse her in the baptismal fountain?” Mind you, I’m not naive enough to assume that even 1/2 of the surrounding audience actually buys our acting bit, especially those who were on the dance floor with me at my wedding while Humpty Dance by Digital Underground played. But I still like to put on a good show none-the-less in a futile attempt to take the attention off 3-year-old Beyonce busting a move down the church pew. To the left, to the left….
Along with his own accomplished physial antics, my five-year-old has mastered the art of inducing parental panic as he carefully chooses to reveal words such as butt, weiner, drag queen, idiot, and the cut throat “I hate you” at the most opportune times. Shopping carts, doctor visits, guests’ homes, and the ever-famous walk in and out of church Sunday morning seem to be his favorites in recent weeks. Something tells me we’re added to everyone’s “special prayers” after witnessing our grand entrance into good ole’ St. Joe’s each week. God bless us, everyone. In light of this recent showstopping talent my son has decided to share with the world, I find added entertainment in the fact that the response from my husband and I places us in the center of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (a.ka. my dad’s favorite show - no joke). Every time an inappropriate saying spews from our kid’s mouth we’re scrambling like idiots (which was probably the choice word just spoken) to either talk louder than they are, throw our hands up in the air to distract from the hot air being thrown around, and/or yelling about the “Secret Word of the Day”.
And although child #3 appears the most innocent at this point in the game, I can only imagine what she’s taking in and what she’ll be spitting out in another year. In the meantime, I’ll be looking for some new parenting videos in the form of Pee Wee’s Playhouse DVD #1 and #2. Maybe the local library has a set?
