Mindless Mom

If you want to create an awkward observation as a parent, just throw a five-year-old boy in the bathtub after his sister has been in there and watch as “Dinosaurs meet Barbie and Friends” plays out.  As much as I really enjoy the current obsessive dinosaur phase we’re in where everyone’s head is bitten by a Tyrannasaurus Rex, something about T-Rex ripping the face off of Malibu Barbie just compels me to have to say something as a parent.  I get it, he’s a boy, dinosaurs rule, dinosaurs have sharp teeth, dinosaurs “really like to eat people”…………just leave f’n Skipper and her too big plastic boobies alone.  Better yet, “hand me the dolls.  Here’s a washcloth, T-Rex needs his tail scrubbed.”

So for the first five minutes of a ten minute bath, poor Skipper and Strawberry Shortcake’s sidekick, Apple Dumpling had to swim as fast as they could around the the bathtub in an attempt to outrun the T-Rex only to find that in the end their heads would be bitten off and limbs detached (literally by my son) as the T-Rex had lunch.  

The second five minutes of the ten minute bath involved my crappy attempt at popping Skipper’s legs back on and giving a light-hearted explanation as to why T-Rex doesn’t have to destroy everything in its path even though he’s a “horrible, meat-eating dinosaur with sharp teeth and really big claws that could tear your skin off - i’m really serious mom”, as described by my son.  

I’d like to think my explanation had a profound impact on the kid, but I’m not sure T-Rex taking a bite out of my ass as we walked out of the bathroom together would indicate that lesson learned.